The Lazy Gnome...

So my next door neighbors decided to BBQ their apartment. Literally! I smelled something cooking outside and opened the blinds only to discover that their entire apartment was engulfed in flames. Being my fantastic self, I quickly dialed 911. Although the disaster was happening only 5 feet from my apartment, I was relaxed because I knew that the fire would get put out before it had a chance to destroy my place.
It was kind of fun watching the firemen run around. It was probably the most entertaining thing I had seen all day. Then, the police department called me to ask if I owned a blue Montero. DAMN! Unfortunatly, my car was also a victim of the fire. The whole left side is scorched, and the paint is all melted. To make matters worse, my fabulous mother forgot to inform me that she had removed comprehensive and collision from my auto insurance plan, AND the apartment insurance does not cover anything other than the building.
The police said I was lucky that my car did not explode since most of the heat was back by the gas tank. I kind of wish my car did explode that day. My mean mommy refuses to buy me a new car because mine still runs just fine...it just looks like it drove through hell. If it was her car, she would replace it immediatly. She is soooooo selfish. When I took my car to get it cleaned in order to assess the damages, one of the workers (who did not graduate from highschool and now makes only minimum wage at the car wash) said that if it was his car, he would just give it away. HA! He felt so sorry for me that he detailed the outside of my car for only $14. He spent at least 45 minutes scraping parts of the building off my car's windows.
So, If you would like to donate money to my cause, I would be forever greatful. I really need a new car! If not, I may have to kidnap my mom's little fluffy dog for ransom money. I mean, someone as cute and fantastic as me cannot be driving a burn victim around town! That's just not right!